


Kiss Me Too Fiercely, Hold Me Too Tight

by tomatopudding



Series: The Hamilton Family Album [64]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Time, Fluff and Smut, I Love You, Loss of Virginity, Love, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 09:12:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14305476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomatopudding/pseuds/tomatopudding
Summary: This isn’t anywhere they haven’t been before, the dirty dishes from a successful date night soaking in Eli’s kitchen sink while the candle on the table burns itself out. The feel of Eli’s lips against his is also familiar, the gentle caress of his hands in AJ’s hair and on his cheek, the warm press of their bodies perfectly aligned but not rushing anywhere past the simple comfort of contact.AJ loses his virginity to Eli, the man he loves.





	Kiss Me Too Fiercely, Hold Me Too Tight

This isn’t anywhere they haven’t been before, the dirty dishes from a successful date night soaking in Eli’s kitchen sink while the candle on the table burns itself out. The feel of Eli’s lips against his is also familiar, the gentle caress of his hands in AJ’s hair and on his cheek, the warm press of their bodies perfectly aligned but not rushing anywhere past the simple comfort of contact. His whole relationship with Eli has been that way, despite the whirlwind love-at-first-sight nature of its beginnings. Eli doesn’t push or insist, he takes things as they come and in their own time, one step after another. But now it’s time to elevate, to increase. AJ knows it, he knows even now that he loves this beautiful man crowding him against the bedroom wall and that he’s ready to move forward. Not that he hasn’t appreciated Eli’s patience, but he’s ready and more sure of that readiness than he has ever been.

 

As much as they are in sync, Eli cannot read AJ’s mind so as their kiss becomes deeper, hotter, soul-searching, AJ searches for the right words to say, the correct phrasing. AJ isn’t a master of words like his father, he thinks before he speaks and weighs the options in his head before proceeding because he hates getting things wrong and in his opinion words are the worst thing to get wrong. It’s hard to think, though, when Eli’s soft groans rumble through his body like earthquakes and the only thing he can think to say is  _ please _ .

 

They breathe each other’s breath and AJ rests his forehead against Eli’s and says it into the small space between them like a prayer.

 

“What?” Eli asks between panting breaths, then, “Anything.”

 

And words fail AJ again because he doesn’t know what to say and there are too many different synonyms but none of them seem to fit; sex is too clinical, fuck too crass, making love too emotionally raw.

 

“I want..” AJ tries, stumbles and stutters around the words and settles for gripping El’s ass and grinding against him.

 

And this isn’t new either, they’ve done different permutations of this, so it makes sense when Eli’s hands make their way to pluck at the button of his pants.

 

“No,” AJ says, plaintive and praying for Eli to understand, “I’m ready. I need you. Please.”

 

The last is a whimper and Eli is so close that AJ can actually feel his heart go into double time.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They’re kissing again, filthy and wet and perfect. There’s another thing AJ wants to ask for, knows the words but can’t say them. He wishes Eli could read his mind, although with Eli’s tongue doing That Thing, AJ isn’t sure his thoughts would even be coherent. When they separate, they’re both out of breath and AJ’s hands have snuck their way under Eli’s shirt.

 

“How do you want to do this?”

 

AJ contemplates for a moment playing the dumb, naive virgin, but that’s not him. At least, not the dumb and naive parts. He wants to reply, he really does, but the words won’t emerge and he buries his face in the crook of Eli’s  neck, his cheeks burning. Eli chuckles, warm and good-natured.

 

“I want this to be good for you,” Eli murmurs, his breath cool against AJ’s overheated skin, “so if you want to top then--”

 

AJ cuts him off with a shake of his head and he feels Eli swallow before he exhales a gentle  _ oh _ .

 

“Please,” AJ says again, rucking up Eli’s shirt, pressing arms against his broad back.

 

“Okay,” agrees Eli, “okay. Clothes off, on the bed.”

 

That commanding lilt sends a shudder down AJ’s spine and he feels in a daze as he strips down with Eli’s gaze burning over his skin.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Eli says with a hushed reverence that makes AJ blush all over again.

 

But befor he can reply, deflect, do anything, Eli gracefully pulls his shirt over his head and AJ’s mouth goes dry. Eli’s approach to the bed is predatory and dark, yet his touch is anything but as he gently cups AJ’s cheeks while they kiss slowly and languidly.

 

“Lie down on your stomach,” Eli commands softly.

 

“I want to see you,” AJ replies, slightly embarrassed that is comes out as more of a whine.

 

“You will,” Eli soothes, “just trust me.”

 

AJ does, of course he does. He trusts Eli with his body and heart and soul. So he obeys. Once he makes sure AJ is comfortable, Eli rummages in the bedside table. AJ can’t see, but he can imagine exactly what Eli’s getting and a thrill that’s half excitement and half apprehension runs through him, causing him to press down into the mattress seeking some kind of friction.

 

“Enough of that,” Eli says and smack’s AJ’s ass lightly and playfully, which of course is less than helpful for AJ’s current desperation.

 

There’s a slight thump on the mattress as Eli drops something there and then a bigger jostle as he climbs up and straddles AJ’s thighs. Eli’s arousal is very evident and it makes AJ’s breath hitch in his throat, but it releases into a satisfied groan at the first press of Eli’s hands into the muscles of his shoulders. The click of a bottle opening is followed by the return of Eli’s hands slick with oil. He loses track of time this way, in the heels of Eli’s hands digging into tense muscles, in the scent of sandalwood that fills his nose, in the methodical movement down his body. He is so relaxed that he doesn’t even flinch when Eli begins massaging his lower back and the swell of his ass, the sweet nothings Eli is murmuring washing over him. 

 

“Starting, babe,” Eli says, one finger gently stroking down the cleft of AJ’s ass, brushing over his hole and barely pressing there, “Ready?”

 

AJ hums in agreement. He would probably agree to anything Eli asked him right now. There’s another bottle click and then Eli’s finger is pressing again, the thin massage oil replaced with something much more viscous. AJ’s state of relaxation makes Eli’s finger slip in easily. It feels strange, of course, but not bad. AJ wishes he could see the look on Eli’s face, he longs for it.

 

“Wanna see you,” he whines, knows that he said it already before but wants to make sure that Eli remembers.

 

“I know,” promises Eli, his finger working in and out, twisting and crooking as he searches for a certain spot. When he finds it, AJ moans and Eli presses a kiss to the small of his back, “I’m going to make you feel so good. I love you so much, AJ.”

 

He adds a second finger then a third, scissoring and stretching, placing loving kisses against AJ’s skin every time he does something new, every time AJ gasps or fidgets. It feels like it goes on forever, AJ has no concept of time. All his knows is Eli’s fingers and breath and voice. The love is practically radiating out of him. His whimpers where Eli’s withdraws his fingers, missing the feeling already. Eli gently maneuvers AJ onto his back with kisses and caresses, places a couple pillows under his lower back to raise his hips. Eli keeps one hand as an anchor on AJ’s thigh as he one-handedly rolls on a condom and slicks himself up. He has to let go of AJ to get himself in place. The total relaxation is starting to dissipate slightly and AJ’s nerves re-emerge.

 

“Hey.”

 

The sound of Eli’s voice brings him back to the present and they lock eyes, brown meeting brown. Eli’s are crinkled in the corners because of his smile.

 

“I love you,” Eli says, keeping their gazes connected as he lines himself up.

 

“I love you, too.”

 

AJ’s final word turns into a kind of groan as Eli begins to press in. It burns a little, more than the fingers did, the stretch odd and disquieting. Slowly, slowly, an inch at a time, Eli pushes in and forward. At first it’s strange and AJ squirms, then Eli hits that spot and stars explode behind his eyes.

 

“Oh,” AJ breathes, “ _ fuck _ .”

 

Eli chuckles, leans down to kiss AJ deeply, swallowing the whimpers and moans as he rolls his hips. AJ erection, which has flagged slightly, is at full force again and Eli reaches between them to take it in hand and move in time with his slow, rolling thrusts. This too is slow and methodical, but unlike the massage this time the tempo is agonizing. AJ wants more, hooks his heels around Eli’s calves and tries to pull him closer, deeper. Eli complies, speed increasing slightly, kisses between them open and messy and filled with whimpers, grunts, moans. They’re both slick with sweat, AJ’s back arching as he gets closer to the peak. In between kisses he’s babbling some combination of curse words and Eli’s name and an overabundance of  _ yes _ and  _ please _ . Eli is the complete opposite, his words leave him and all he can do is pant heavy breathes and move faster, harder. 

 

They’ve done enough before this night that Eli knows how to read the signs of AJ’s, knows when he’s getting close by the way he throws his head back, by the way his hands clench into fists.

 

“C’mon,” Eli hisses, hops and hand moving faster, “c’mon, baby, come for me.”

 

With one final kiss that’s more breathing into each other’s mouths than anything else, AJ does so and let’s out a high-pitched keening moan. Eli follows a short time after, thrusting hard and deep and holding there as he digs his teeth into AJ’s shoulder. 

 

It takes some time for AJ to come down and by the time he does Eli is laying beside him, still panting every so slightly. He hasn’t bothered to clean anything up yet and AJ feels sticky and sated. 

 

“Goddamn that was hot,” AJ says. 

 

Eli huffs out a breathy laugh and begins to roll out of the bed. AJ reaches for his hand with an exaggerated pout. 

 

“You’ll feel better if we clean up now,” Eli says, pausing a moment to squeeze AJ’s fingers briefly, “I’ll be right back.”

 

AJ simply hums in agreement, his eyes on Eli’s bare ass. Eli seems to sense it and gives an extra wiggle.

 

“Work it!” AJ calls after him. Eli blows a kiss over his shoulder. 

 

Now that he isn’t sweating so much, AJ is starting to feel a bit of a chill and longs to get under the covers, but convinces himself to wait until he’s clean. Eli returns with a damp cloth and gently dabs at the sweat along AJ’s brow before cleaning up his belly. Soon they’re both under the blankets, still naked, curled together and entwined. AJ briefly considers discussing a round two, but decides that it can wait, choosing instead to cuddle up to Eli and revel in the warmth of their little cocoon. 

 

“I love you,” he whispers, his lips brushing against Eli’s soft skin. 

 

“Love you, too.”

 

With those words ringing in his ears, AJ falls asleep. 


End file.
